Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Nu Moons and Fung Shway

So, I'm sitting in The Cubical of Dying Dreams and my mother calls me to "chat". She asks me how I'm doing and I tell her, "I'm alright." Yeah...I'm just alright. I'm Great from around 5 p.m. on Fridays until about 7 a.m. Mondays and then I'm "just alright". This should tell you how I view my working week. But then she wants to know if I remembered to make my list of things I want to accomplish for my career in preparation of the new moon this week. ?!?!?!? I haven't, of course, but apparently I STILL HAVE TIME but it has to be done tonight. How appropriate that my career goals will coincide with a full moon (take that in all the ways you can).

Then she wants to know how our house is arranged in terms of the rooms and colors, etc. Apparently my father got a larger than normal pay raise because they had arranged their 'career room' to accentuate good luck or greater prosperity or something. What am I supposed to take away from this anecdotal and coincidental evidence? That I have MORE house projects on my List of Unending House Projects instead of LESS.

My father is really liking the changes to the house as he keeps talking about it but maybe that's because they haven't rearranged the furniture for something like the LAST 10 YEARS. Hell...any change would seem like moving to a new house.

So here's my list of career goals for this year in honor of my mother her new moon and her feng shui rash...
  1. Stay employed.
  2. Get the pay raise I've been denied for the last 2 years because of The Economy (despite record sales and profits at my company). I'm thinking 15%.
  3. Get 100% of my bonus this year. NO FUNNY MATH!!! Fucking accountants.
  4. Get another week of vacation.
  5. Have all the road blocks to my projects removed.
  6. Be listened to and taken seriously.
  7. Not having to say, "I told you so."
  8. Win the lottery.
  9. Win the lottery.
  10. Get laid off with a fantastic severance package that allows me to take a year off and find out what I want to do for a career.

2 comments:

Darth McQuinn said...

You forgot #11: Do not get killed by my sadistic DM.

Michael said...

Good point! I think with a kick-ass gnome on my side I stand a better chance than most.